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Beware of Romantic Self-Sabotage

4. December 2012 by Lorena 0 Comments

Guarding oneself against romantic disappointment is an understandable impulse. However, there are things that a gentleman can do that will have the exact opposite effect on his chances in love. If you are thinking of quizzing or challenging a Russian lady about her romantic intentions, your attempts to protect yourself from romantic misfortune could backfire.


Some gentlemen, when they have had an international relationship that did not work out, will question the next Ukrainian girl they talk to. For instance, they will say, even in the first email exchange, “the last lady I talked to stopped communicating with me after awhile. You’re not like that, are you?”


Although offense is not intended, such questions are quite rude. From the first exchange, the Ukrainian lady is put on the offensive. Asking whether she is evasive can make her feel that you mistrust her and she would have to somehow “prove” herself to you. This is not something that a lady will find attractive or enticing. Additionally, it does not present you in the best light. Asking such loaded questions can make you appear demanding and suspicious, which can, in turn, make a lady feel uncomfortable talking to you.


Think about it this way: how would you react if a lady on a dating site sent you a message that said, “My last boyfriend was a bore who just talked about himself. Are you? I don’t want to waste my time.” You would feel as if she was making assumptions before ever talking to you. Additionally, it would reflect poorly on her character, making her sound like someone who was suspicious and distrustful.


In the end, it is important to remember that online dating is a numbers game. Treat Ukrainian and Russian ladies with the same courtesy that you would expect from someone during courtship, and don’t worry about the negatives. You may have to talk to many beautiful Ukrainian ladies before you find someone who is the one for you. But, make sure you don’t disqualify yourself right at the beginning by asking questions or making demands that offend the lady you are trying to win.

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