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It's Worse Than Someone Finding Your Kinky Porn

26. October 2012 by Lorena 0 Comments

... Someone finding out that you are on a Russian dating site.

 

You see occasional references to Russian dating online. But, nearly every one made outside a Russian dating message board is a joke or a pejorative remark. Thousands of men become members of Russian dating sites, but they rarely talk to friends or family about this choice. Most gentlemen are more likely to openly admit to purchasing pornography than they are to pursuing a romantic relationship on a Russian dating site. Why is that?

 

There are many negative misconceptions about international dating.

Fox News Radio recently did an overwhelmingly positive story about international dating, and it still had “Mail Order Bride” in the headline. The “mail order bride” terms that get attached to Russian dating are unsavory, and they turn a lot of people off. They also have no basis in reality. No one on a Russian dating site is buying a bride. Russian ladies would never stand for it. They are fierce-minded women, and would take great exception to the idea that the gentlemen who courted them were attempting to purchase them, or that they were available to be bought.

 

What you hear on the news is only ever negative.

And, those negative stories, no matter how rare or unusual the occurrences in them are, become the dominant narrative. It’s the Summer of Sharks phenomenon. Remember that year when shark attacks were all over the news? That was also a year with far fewer shark attacks than average. But, the stories we hear are what we believe to be true and prevalent. Sadly, no amount of statistics, no matter how accurately they tell the tale, carries the weight of a personal anecdote.

 

People are far more likely to tune into TV news or pick up a magazine to read a story about something awful happening. Every now and then, major papers will run a below the fold human interest bit about a happy couple that found each other despite thousands of miles of distance. But, you’re more likely to read about the relationships that didn’t work. So, despite the thousands of couples who find love on Russian dating sites, people’s perception is of the worst possible scenario, instead of the far more likely happy one.

 

It’s a feedback loop.

People make negative comments about Russian dating, which makes people feel that they can’t admit to being on a Russian dating site. This, in turn, leads to people never hearing the success stories. And that puts us right back at the start, with the nasty mail order bride jokes, because that’s the only narrative around.

 

It changes when we change it.

The only way that men are going to be more comfortable talking about Russian dating sites is when men start talking about Russian dating sites.

 

International dating is, at this moment, in the same place that online dating in general was about five years ago. Even though people were doing it, nobody wanted to talk about it. Computers were still thought of as a sort on niche thing that only awkward weirdos used for socializing, right? But now, only China has more internet users than the US, and half of all Americans say that they’ve used an online dating site. Dating online is downright normal.

 

There is no reason to be embarrassed about looking wherever necessary to find the kind of romantic relationship that you want. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. If you are smart and resourceful enough to increase your chances by looking abroad, you are making a choice that is right for you.

 
Photo: brainloc