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The Mail-Order Bride Controversy

20. October 2009 by Christy 0 Comments

It’s no secret that many people are suspicious of the world of international matchmaking. Though international matchmaking sites, i.e. "mail-order brides sites," are really not that different than domestic dating sites (after all, both facilitate communication between two romance-minded strangers), society tends to view so-called mail-order bride sites as sordid or distasteful. But why?


Reasons for Misgivings

In an article entitled “My Friend is a Mail-Order Bride,” an American woman living abroad worries about a friend’s decision to marry a man she met on an international matchmaking site. The author is bothered by the business-like arrangement of the marriage and wonders if her friend is settling for a loveless marriage with a man who won’t support her emotional needs. She also questions her friend’s motives, wondering if the woman is only out for money. In the end, however, the author backs away from her “Western mind-set” and realizes that her friend is in a different situation than most Western and women and shouldn’t be judged by the same standards. The author eventually comes to accept her friend’s untraditional relationship and even admires the woman’s courage in taking fate into her own hands. The more the author knows about her friend’s situation the more accepting she becomes.


Educate Your Friends

If you face criticism from your family or friends for seeking a Russian bride, educate them about it. Let them know that you aren’t picking a woman from a catalog and having her shipped to your door. Share her story. Explain that many women in Russia seek foreign husbands, not because they want money and a green card, but because they want a man with traditional family values. Let them know that Russian women outnumber Russian men 4:1 and that a family-orientated is hard to find in Russia. As the author in the article demonstrates, the more people know about international matchmaking services, the more likely they are to accept them.