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Why Didn’t She Write Back? Tips on Handling Rejection

21. October 2009 by Marie 0 Comments

You’ve started e-mailing a particular lady and she abruptly stops writing back. Or she says she met someone else. Or you’ve sent out several introductory e-mails and heard nothing back. You feel rejected, and it’s like a stab in the heart with an ice pick.


Rejection is an equal opportunity emotion: it hurts all of us at some time in our lives, and feels exactly the same way. You feel betrayed, taken advantage of, and less of a man. You play the blame game, thinking up choice names you’d love to unleash on the lady, while also thinking, If only I smiled more, had more hair, not told her about my Gumby collection, complimented her eyes instead of her lips.


There are no easy answers to this complex topic. But it you learn to shake it off and learn more about yourself in the process, you’re way ahead of the game. So consider these tips if you feel slighted.


We’re all insecure

Just because a lady is beautiful and accomplished, doesn’t mean she feels beautiful and accomplished every second of her life. She is a human being! Do you feel like Mr. Perfect all the time? Remember, too, that many people reject others first so they won’t be rejected. It’s a very common defense mechanism: I’ll dump you before you dump me, and then I’ll be in control and it won’t hurt so much.


It might not be you at all

Remember that Hot Russian Brides is a unique and different way to find a lady. Rejection may just be a perceived slight with no base in reality. Did you bombard one hot woman with a dozen rapid-fire instant messages and get a single, short reply? She may have limited English skills and it might take her a long time to reply. Did she take a week to answer an e-mail? Maybe she can’t get to her agency but once a week.


Then again, it might be you

Did you berate a lady about the number of credits you spent to chat with her? She knows little about this and is thinking how she spent an hour getting to her agency in the snow. Think of how she feels! Did you boast about your wealth and virility, or get an insecurity attack and tell her you’ve never been on a date in your life? Think about your words before you hit send. 


Take stock

The important thing is to not let rejection paralyze you. Look back on any previous relationships that didn’t work out. Try to be objective (yes, it’s the hardest part), and you may realize there were some mismatches that never would have worked anyway. Think back on the times you were at fault, and work on putting bad habits in the shredder. Hold up the good things about yourself to the light and shine them to a fine glow.


Bounce back

Come on, you’re good at something! Write down a list of your positive attribute and focus ion those, and remember there are many beautiful ladies out there. As dear of mom might have said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Learn something about yourself and move on. You’ll meet your match!