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Why Many Women Don't Let Men Be Men

14. October 2009 by Kari 0 Comments

Recently, I read a great article entitled, Russian Women Let Men Be Men. The article talked a lot about the femenist movement in America, and how a lot of men feel that while the movement helped to further progress women, it also took away their femininity. While I agree somewhat with this opinion, it is also probable to say that Russian women and all other types of women are happy to let men be men as long as they feel that the men in their lives are capable of fulfilling that role.

Deciding to investigate the matter further, I wanted to learn more about the specific complaints that women have about men, as I strongly believe that these very complaints are the reasons why not all women “let men be men.”

How do women try to solve relationship problems?

First, it is important to note that major problems usually occur after a woman feels that she has attempted many times to solve smaller problems. In many cases, women are the ones to initiate Marriage counseling, or are often the ones at the book store buying self help books on relationship issues. Thus, women usually become fed up and do not believe that their partners have a sincere interest in solving the problems at hand. In response, a woman will take matters into her own hands, where she is likely seen as assuming a more dominant role in the relationship as usual.

What are the main reasons that women complain about their partners?

In relation to these accusations, the biggest reason that women file for divorce is “mental cruelty.” While often times these women are not being emotionally abused, they feel that the men in their lives have stopped communicating effectively with them and that their men are also acting indifferently towards them altogether. More so, sometimes women feel completely neglected by their husbands, because these husbands start talking to their wives less and stay away from home for longer periods of time, usually without the courtesy of a phone call!

Other common complaints that women have about their partners include being constantly ignored, having to deal with the man watching TV non-stop, slacking on phone calls to simply say “Hello” and ask his lady how his day is going, and not apologizing for hurting the woman’s feelings, while at the same time blaming her for being too sensitive.

Are these complaints usually valid?

Willard F. Harley Jr. who has a Ph.D. in the field of Psychology often counsels men after women have confronted them with these and other similar issues. Talking about the matter further he states, “I’ve proven to husbands over and over again that their wives usually do not expect too much of them, and when they understand and respond to their wives’ frustration, the complaining ends and a terrific marriage begins.” He further explains that women just want men to “focus their efforts in the right places and not make new ones.”

He has learned throughout his years as a Psychologist that all most women really want is to find who they think their soul-mate is, to have a man who will listen to them, for him to be trust worthy, and finally to have a man who won’t make a decision without considering his lady’s feelings.

Do most women want to play the man’s role in a relationship?

When a man takes all of these things into account, women are happy to let their partners truly take on the role of being the man. However, when she feels that he is not living up to his respective role, the woman will often begrudgingly take on that role herself. On the contrary, this is usually not the case if a woman feels emotionally connected to her partner. This mode of thought goes for all women, including Russian women. Furthermore, most women are thrilled when a man acts like a gentleman by doing things such as opening doors and walking on the outside of the street. In essence, many women feel that if men want to be men, they need to step up to the plate and act like it.