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Focus on the Things You Want, Not the Things You Don’t

17. November 2010 by Christy 0 Comments

For whatever reason, some members of HotRussianBrides focus on the things they don’t want in a mate rather than on the things they do. In their profiles they’ll list the qualities they find undesirable (“no cheaters, liars, game players, scammers”) and they’ll repeat this message in emails and chats. They’ll respond to emails from women they believe are too young/old/sexy-looking/etc. and tell the ladies why they aren’t a good match. While there is nothing necessarily wrong with listing the qualities you DON'T want in a partner, it's generally much more productive to focus on the qualities you DO desire.


In your profile, emails, and chats, try to focus on the positive rather than on the negative. List the qualities you do hope to find in a mate like kindness, compassion, a sense of humor, not the ones you, and anybody else, could do without (cheaters, scammers, liars, game players). Some gentlemen don’t like ladies of a certain age or ladies who dress sexy because they think such women aren’t serious about finding love. If you receive emails from women who don’t interest in you, ignore them and move on. Many members spend too much time replying to unsolicited emails, explaining why the ladies aren’t right for them. While courteous, responding to women who lack the qualities you want is almost always a waste of time and energy.


In most situations, it isn’t very sensible or efficient to focus on the things you don’t want. Would you go into a sandwich shop and start listing the ingredients you don’t want on your sandwich rather than the ingredients you do? Would you respond to every spam message in your general inbox, explaining why Canadian drugs, male enhancement pills, or Nigerian princes aren’t right for you rather than responding to offers that do appeal to you? Hopefully not. While the above scenarios are a bit different, the basic idea is the same. It makes much more sense to focus on the things you DO want, rather than on the things you DON’T.  Please keep this in mind when using HotRussianBrides.com.